The 10 roles of a Daddy Dominant
I often write things like this out not just to clarify publicly and spark ideas, but also to reinforce it for myself. It’s easy to think of being a Daddy Dominant as one thing, one job, but in reality, it is many many jobs to keep track of.
I have a penchant for lists of 10 so this is just my opinion, formatted in my way. But, please, if there is anything you can take from it, feel free. And if there is anything you would like to add, feel free, as well.
I believe, you can pare down the role of Daddy Dominant into multiple subroles- ones that all provide something wanted, something needed, to Daddy’s little one.
1. The Protector / Nurturer
Sometimes this just means arms that your little can curl up in, sometimes it means actively protecting them from what is out there, from what threatens to invade. Being little isn’t just a time period, it’s a space, with boundaries and borders that can be violated. From petting to hair brushing to locking doors to pushing away invading sounds, behaviors from others, etc. there is a continuum from Nurturing to Protecting, and it’s all an opportunity.
2. The Intimate / Confidant
Your little will have things to say that are only for you. And you need to make that safe to do, And late at night, with the lights out, talking back and forth, that can be a gift. Asking them and helping to format the answers can be helpful. For example, asking for their 3 favorite parts of a movie or the three things that scare them in the dark. You can offer stories and bedtime expositions that may make it easier for them to feel free to talk. Once you have enough stories between you, for example, you can use them to build dialogue.
As well, many things you need to do are intimate and can’t be done around others. Your little may need to trust you with the thermometer in their little bottom. Something embarrassing if done around others but bonding when done together. Enemas, bathing, stretching, all of these things may benefit from that earned intimacy.
3. The Teacher / Sherpa
Your little one wants to learn from you which means you have a responsibility to have good information on the subjects you discuss. And your little one will want a guide to experiences, so it’s wise to have a substantial body of experience on the things you are doing, and to work to continue to build it.
In Medicine, they often talk about the responsibility incurred through the power differential- that once you are a medical professional, people will believe you so do not mislead them- if you do, you risk their distrust in the future when their life may be at stake. Similarly, your responsibility here is significant. If you lead into an unsafe area, you may be doing a huge amount of damage.
4. The Chef / Maker
Meals are a good opportunity to make your little feel known, seen, understood, through food they like, made for them, on time, in ways they like. And removing concern over their mealtime is a thing that we can offer them, letting them stay more proactively in the space. Ordering from the kids menu, making food into fun shapes, creating real food variety, these all show effort to support your little one, effort that will make it easier for them to feel comfortable in that space.
5. The Anchor / Steady Hand
Your little can be mercurial and moody but you cannot. You must be consistent, steady, reasoned, and quick to forgive. You are unchanging, immovable, not open to desertion or changes of allegiance, because you are their Daddy, the thing that prevents the world from moving erratically and makes it safe. That often means not taking into their little space, problems you have in the real world.
6. The Doctor / Therapist
Littles will have days when they don’t feel good, for some reason or another, and it may pull them into their little space or out of it. Daddy needs to be able to see where the Little one would most like to be and provide what is needed to make it safe and comfortable to be there, whether it’s just talking through an issue on their level or finding a real way to combat a real upset stomach in a safe less than real space.
There is something primal and original about solving problems in a little space. It’s often said that if you can’t explain a dynamic to a 5 year old in language they can understand, you may not have a good grasp on that dynamic. Similarly if you can solve a problem at that level, it can very often be a compelling solution. Your commitment to explaining at this level, problem solving at this level, and your enthusiasm around doing it will remind your little one that you don’t think they are a burden or a trial and that you love their little time.
7. The TimeKeeper / Organizer
To children, time is expansive and unending and they can fall down a rabbit hole endlessly. Being able to keep track of time and organize for their best lives may be difficult when your instinct is to just fall into that hole with them. And that instinct is good. Littles need to know that daddy isn’t in a hurry to end this, but they also need gentle pushes to do what needs to be done, The battle between being little and protected from the onrush of time and being older and more productive is one that will likely be managed by each Daddy with each little one differently.
8. The Giver / Spoiler
Whether it’s panties, plushies, pillows, etc. gifts that they like can be constant reminders they are loved and taken care of, and, if your play is sexual, can reinforce the sense that Daddy is using them, benefitting from them, and feeling so good he wants to show them. Often a gift after a big intense scene can extend that scene and burn it into their memory. “Daddy got me this unicorn when I first went to stay with him” or “This bear is from when Daddy and I learned our special way to kiss”
9. The Disciplinarian / Rulemaker
Your instinct is to have consistently good experiences with your little one, to forgive and spoil and build closeness. But little ones need to know that Daddy is strong and willful and knows where the line is. This idea, that there is a behavioral line and it needs to be acknowledged, is sometimes particularly comforting to littles that may be neurodivergent. Knowing that there is a gentle yet forceful hand that can rectify their behavioral missteps and then, immediately, love them, takes a weight off of them and allows that they can KNOW they are being good. Without the hand of discipline, that knowledge, that assurance, can’t form a confidence and sense of safety with the little.
10. Their Biggest Fan
Most of all, it’s is always the job of Daddy to love and to adore and to recognize that their little is a unique event in the universe. Young people, outside of kink, who don’t feel like the center of the world at some point in their life, will seek that out forever. As a Daddy, you are a satellite to your Little, someone who builds around them, sees them, learns them, and remembers every painting, every word, every milestone, every minute that you have with them. And is grateful.
Tags: DDlg, Daddy, Little, Age Play
1 day ago