Safety
What BDSM is not I was recently reminded how much I dislike it when people are so passionate about their own opinions that they assume their way is the only right way, and that reminded me of this essay written in 2005. I hope someone out there finds it useful or interesting, and I hope … Read more
A friend recently asked me for an opinion of someone I know in the scene. I thought I would post a part of it here on how I approach providing references and vetting other people in my own play. There is no right way, this is what I’ve found works well for me after two … Read more
When learning about personal safety and BDSM you likely hear the word safeword more than once. A safeword is used as a last resort when you need the play you are engaged in to end. But there’s an unintentional negative stigma surrounding using your safeword that needs to be understood. You are not a failure … Read more
The BDSM Cult/How to be a Predator by CocoJones My entry into the kink community brought me into immediate contact with scouts for what I like to call the BDSM cult. Recruiters for abusive relationships all under the name of sexual discovery. After several run-ins and some trips down some fairly disturbing paths (ah, … Read more
The 40 Red Flags The following are warnings that a potential Dom may not be all that you think they are. Please be careful if the potential Dom: 1) Tries to separate you from your friends, family or BDSM community. 2) Avoids talking about personal details. Gets mad when you ask or quickly ends the … Read more
Ten ways to tell a bullshit artist from the real thing– MasterKAOS This writing pertains mostly to new subs that are seeking a dom, but most of the information can be applied in both directions with slight modifications and can be helpful no matter how long you have been active. …So, you just met your … Read more
I’ve worked with a variety of clients over the years, mostly teenagers. They’re volatile, moody, reactive. However, if you watch them closely, you’ll see an evident escalation of behaviors before they hit crisis mode. Now, I’m not a teenager, thank goodness! I wouldn’t want to go back to that stage in my life, but I … Read more
So here you are. You have submissive and/or slave tendencies. You feel the pull to have someone dominant you, control you, someone to worship and serve, someone who makes you want to grovel and who fills your world. At the same time you want that someone to cherish you. Love you. Embrace and enhance your … Read more