BDSM for Beginners – Safewords Red, Yellow, Green Are Just Words and Mean NOTHING by Themselves! by Caged Heart Beginning Explorers in the BDSM World hear a lot of advice from more experienced ‘players’. Unfortunately, a lot of that advice is worth nothing more than it costs…NOTHING. A person new to BDSM might hear, “Oh, … Read more
NO is a safeword – unless you negotiate otherwise– Moon_Dancer I hate the phrase “no is not a safeword” and have found myself the victim of non-consensual violence with this used as an excuse. The only time no is not a safeword is when participating in negotiated consensual non-consent. I think we have forgotten what … Read more
When you first enter “The Scene,” you will meet a lot of new people who all seem awesome. You will be invited to munches, encouraged to attend events, and welcomed to more than a couple discussion groups. This is all great! It can also be overwhelming. It can lead to what I call “Community Frenzy.” … Read more
Munch Etiquette When people ask how to become involved in kink or how to learn, the first thing they are told is “go to a munch!” Munches are a great first step, but like all first steps, they can be intimidating if you don’t know what to expect or how to behave. What is a … Read more
Since writing my last post, I’ve gotten a lot of messages from newbies asking me, “How do I tell the difference between someone who really wants to help me, and someone who is a predator, an exploiter, someone who just wants to take advantage of me?” The short answer is: it’s not easy. If you … Read more
It’s your first munch, eh? I bet you’re thinking… by ThoughtsofYou ORGY! ORGY! [- newbie] Whoa, slow your roll. [- oldie] Firstly, it’s nice to meet you and thanks for coming. I just want to clear some things up… Kink has a lot of reputations — good, bad, wrong and inexplicable. orgyyyyy Haha, yeah… Munches … Read more
I shouldn’t have to tell you…Wyckeds_monkey Many moons ago outside of a private party I heard a submissive tell her Master, “I shouldn’t have to tell you what I want”. At the time I shrugged it off, not fully understanding the communication that’s required for a fruitful, working, involved relationship. How wrong she was! Communication … Read more
A man once told me, “I may hurt you, but I will never harm you.” It stuck with me. And I have thought, over the years, about the difference between the two. And I realize that I have had them both done to me, and it took those experiences to be able to tell the … Read more