This would be the skill of understanding your own sexuality including (but of course not limited to): gender identification; gender preferences; kinks; fetish’s; Power dynamics etc. It would also include your ability to understand any influences and causes of these preferences/interests and the impact that that these can have on your thoughts, behaviours, emotions an evolving preferences.
This would be the skill of being able to truthfully communicate or express your sexuality. It would include being able to express emotions, fantasies, interests etc., carry out agreed scenes, the use of safe words at the appropriate time, authentic gestures and sounds, the capacity to provide feedback to others plus the appropriateness and right degree of honesty with the right people.
Sexual awareness of others:
This would be the skill of discussing and understanding other’s sexuality. It would include the ability to understand how others feel about their own sexuality, their preferences and limits (soft and hard) and probably most important, the ability to demonstrate to the other person that you understand and respect their preferences/interests/orientation.
This would be the skill to use your knowledge of your own self awareness and your awareness of your partner to make sound decisions. This would include, decisions around who to develop relationship with, effective planning, establishing protocols, safety, etc. It would also incorporate past experiences, and all of the social and emotional knowledge which you would apply in all other areas of your life.
This would be the skill to manage your emotions, behaviour and your physical well-being. This would include choosing to engage in experiences which are positive for you, making your safety a priority and the ability to stay focused on it during a scene. Maintaining a healthy body and mind including regular health checks, regularly evaluating your own and your partner’s needs, moving on if a relationship is no longer working for you and keeping your interests in perspective with the rest of your life.
Sexual Management of others:
This would be the skill of being able to influence the sexual experience of others. It would include the capacity to provide a positive experience for your partner, to assist them in ways to support them express their sexuality, appropriate after care, discretion and the ability to help your partner resolve issues or explore interests which will impact them positively.