MasterGuardian One weekend, my Dominant and I had a number of really great scenes. No matter what we were doing, we were deeply connected to each other and it was blissful. I can’t even remember what we did but I remember the high I felt I was soaring on no matter what else we were doing that weekend. … Read more
Recently, I was contemplating the situation of being single in the Scene because of an email I received from someone concerning interacting with male dominants. Essentially, she responded to the sexual whims of the men she met online from the space of not having any boundaries set. Part of her inquiry to me was why does … Read more
When learning about personal safety and BDSM you likely hear the word safeword more than once. A safeword is used as a last resort when you need the play you are engaged in to end. But there’s an unintentional negative stigma surrounding using your safeword that needs to be understood. You are not a failure … Read more
This may sound weird because I haven’t been in the scene long enough to consider myself experienced, but these are a few things that I have learned rather quickly. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. If you are at a play party or a dungeon or something of that nature, ask questions. Wanna look at … Read more
As an Official FetLife Greeter from early 2011-late 2012, this is one of the questions I was asked most frequently: how can I find (and be found by) other people in my community with whom I may be compatible. Here’s a great way to kick-start your search for your local community: On your own profile … Read more
A friend recently asked me for an opinion of someone I know in the scene. I thought I would post a part of it here on how I approach providing references and vetting other people in my own play. There is no right way, this is what I’ve found works well for me after two … Read more
Dear Play Partners: I want to play with YOU, not just your kinks! I don’t really care too much about what toys you like to use or what clothes you like to wear. Sorry — that’s all pretty interchangeable to me. I want to know what beat your perverted internal clock is ticking on. I … Read more
A weak point in conversations about consent and consent violation is that we often speak as though only bottoms can be violated (I am not immune to this) when tops are also violated on a fairly regular basis. My theory on why we do this is we have a much clearer picture of what it … Read more