How not to be shitty at parties – voyeurs and exhibitionists edition
SecondCircleTO
original post
I’m putting this here, on the events profile, because this is a thing that profoundly irks me, and I want people who go to our events to get it – and the vast majority of you do.
Also, for the record, I have not run any of this by my co-organizers, but I doubt they would disagree. Anyway…
Playing in public is not a show for an audience, unless you specifically engage the crowd around you in that way, and they take you up on that. There are two sides to this.
First, for the players: It’s awesome if you’re an exhibitionist. Go to town with that. Do whatever shit gets you off. But your wish to connect with an audience doesn’t entitle you to interfere with other scenes around you, and it doesn’t entitle you to try to engage with people around you who aren’t interested in what you’re doing.
There is a fine line between a big showy scene, and obnoxious douchery. If you are going to put on a show, learn how to navigate that.
Second, for the observers: It’s awesome if you’re a voyeur. Many people go to parties just to watch play happen. But your interest in what others are doing does not entitle you to insinuate yourself into their space. And make no mistake, this means physically and verbally. And it extends to aftercare. Not sure if they’re doing aftercare? Assume they are, and back off.
There is a fine line between being interested and appreciative, and being an intrusive asshat.
So, I’m hoping that everyone is noticing a bit of a theme here. ENTITLEMENT.
Nobody owes you anything just by being in the same space as you at an event. Actually, no, they do – they owe you respect and dignity, at least at our events (and I would hope others, but I’m not going to speak on their behalf because that’s not cool.)
The crowd does not owe you an audience, and the players do not owe you a show.
(Personally, I think even referring to it as a show is pretty intrusive. Even after they’re done, even ever. I find it offensive.)
Second part of that theme – crossing that line makes you a jerk. You do not want to be a jerk, right?
-killer