Scene Negotiation for the s type
So you want to play and you are so hungry, that you don’t think or care to discuss limits. If you are about to play with someone you have NOT SEEN do a scene with anyone before, chances are you are putting yourself in danger. At the very least you might wind up with an unwanted permanent scar on either your body or mind.
Dear s types
Priority number 1 Protect yourself. Protect the Property until you are with a D type who will protect it for you. thankyou Sir Guy Baldwin
Safe SANE Consensual
Require a discussion Before play
Be forthcoming about any old injuries, medications, allergies, muscle cramps you frequently experience, surgery, skin or blood communicable diseases. Do you currently have a cold? Did you just get over the damn flu? etc…
You pick the safe word or signal. Make it something easy you will remember.If you can not come up with one make sure the one picked is something you can actually use.
Ask to see what implements might be used during the scene. If you are unfamiliar with one ask for a test run.
Test run means they throw it on an inanimate object or a willing bottom that has played with them…
FYI This does not however mean, that you will get to rummage through their toy bag and hand select all the toys the Dom will use on you during the scene.
Never say you have no limits.
Another good one don’t tell the D type “my only limits are blood, scat and children”
1. Do you see any freaking children in the Dungeon? This one is so absurd.
2. So if I burn your clit or cock off or paint your private parts purple in theory I have respected your limits. Get to Know yourself before you get on the dance floor. PLEASE
Be very clear on what private parts can and CANNOT be touched and in what capacity. Once in subspace your thoughts on this might change, state your desires Up Front.
Ask about their AFTERCARE plans express your needs.
Divulge any Cold words or phobias you might have. A cold word is something that would upset you if called or heard. ex. some people like to be called a “slut”, while another, it might trigger a very bad memory for.
Inform of any Hot words you might have. Hot words are things that get you excited or wet. Tops like to know them to enhance the scene.
Be very clear on what type of marks and where you can freely have marks. Bruises happen. If you are not aware how you bruise yet, be at least aware where it would be alright to be bruised.
Finally Never RENEGOTIATE during a scene.
Endorphins/hormones are raging in both the Top and bottom. Decisions will not be as clear. If you feel you wanted More than wait till afterwards, when everyone has their levels back to normal and re visit the dance floor with this Top.
Stay safe/ stay informed/be aware all play/dance comes with risks/do not expect that a romance bloomed just because a Top decided to give you time on the dance floor. and the most important thing stay SANE. the body can usually heal from trauma the mind does not do so as quickly. Know yourself ,your emotional limits and go have fun xx
some of these things I had to learn the hard way so, I can share them with you .This way you won’t have to learn the hard way. I hope.
When meeting in Public or private not at a dungeon. (private I warn against)
Vet the person you are going to meet. If they won’t give you a real name and some personal info. This is a red flag. If you met someone on match. you would get this info first before the date. why in our lifestyle do we forget,to do this?
When dining out please tell the waiter that you are on a first ,blind date. If you are eating or drinking do not leave the table and come back to your meal. By this I mean do not drink or eat any food that you left unattended on the table. This sounds unreasonable? Well, here we go with learning the hard way. I went to the ladies room came back and began to finish my meal. Apparently the gentleman put something in my food I got woozy and swooned and this’gentleman’ informed the waiter .Don’t worry I have her. Next , I am in a car with a stranger off to some unknown destination. I won’t go into the gory details of the rest because it has no pertinence here. My only desire is to pre warn you. Now if I meet someone in public I tell the waiter If something happens to me this is a blind date do not let him take me out of here if I seem to faint out or something. And I always wait to go to the ladies room until I have eaten or drank as much as I wanted.
Do Not meet in a parking lot! I can not stress how easy it is to kidnap someone in this environment.
Make sure you have a responsible friend that knows where you are. And the name of the person you are going to meet.
set up a safe call. In that safe call have a code word. Make your code word something that is reasonable. If worse case scenario you have been kidnapped and your napper is listening in on your safe phone call. You don;t want your safe word to be something obvious. let’s say you use the word peachy. So, if your friend hears everything is peachy I am having a great time. Only your friend will know you are in grave trouble.