General
When learning about personal safety and BDSM you likely hear the word safeword more than once. A safeword is used as a last resort when you need the play you are engaged in to end. But there’s an unintentional negative stigma surrounding using your safeword that needs to be understood. You are not a failure … Read more
As an Official FetLife Greeter from early 2011-late 2012, this is one of the questions I was asked most frequently: how can I find (and be found by) other people in my community with whom I may be compatible. Here’s a great way to kick-start your search for your local community: On your own profile … Read more
A friend recently asked me for an opinion of someone I know in the scene. I thought I would post a part of it here on how I approach providing references and vetting other people in my own play. There is no right way, this is what I’ve found works well for me after two … Read more
Dear Play Partners: I want to play with YOU, not just your kinks! I don’t really care too much about what toys you like to use or what clothes you like to wear. Sorry — that’s all pretty interchangeable to me. I want to know what beat your perverted internal clock is ticking on. I … Read more
A weak point in conversations about consent and consent violation is that we often speak as though only bottoms can be violated (I am not immune to this) when tops are also violated on a fairly regular basis. My theory on why we do this is we have a much clearer picture of what it … Read more
Something so simple, is consistently forgotten by those all over the scene. There are many aspects to what such a thing is and many ways to go about doing it. Regular contact isn’t just getting together for a beating and communication isn’t just the message sent to conduct said beating. Communication covers all things, such … Read more
I am no expert on submission or subspace, but I am an explorer in this land, and I’ve witnessed and experienced some wonderful and amazing events involving submission. My current journey involves a first person singular examination of the states of submission. While I have done some light research on this topic and tapped into … Read more
A little excitement doesn’t have to always be a complete mystery. A lot of couples want to explore the kinky side of sex — BDSM — but are afraid. If you’re a newcomer to kink, there’s good reason to hesitate: Going too far, too fast, or even a minor miscommunication with your lover and you … Read more