Top.Bottom

10 things to never do with your new to poly or monogamous partner when you are Poly.

  10.Send them unsolicited articles that rave about how great being Poly is. I know you think you mean well, but its just a passive form of shoving it down their throat. Let them figure out for them if this works, Its ok to offer suggestions or to recommend various media source but dont force […]

Aftercare for the D

It’s been a while since I wrote my last post for “Attention for the D”. Life happens sometimes… But I would like to pick this back up, because this information is important and I love sharing with you. So here is the next one: Aftercare for the D. Now, most of you are aware that […]

Purple limbs and rope bondage- when should you worry? – by MissDoctor

I recently received a very good question about this through fet, and I would like to share my thoughts with the community as a whole. There is a lot of concern about limb discoloration in photos and in the dungeon setting from those who are less familiar with rope (and even those who are more […]

What’s That You Say? Reading Body Language in Play by Rev

What’s That You Say? Reading Body Language in Play  –  By Rev You’ve heard it said (and if you haven’t, it’s about time you did) that Dominants aren’t mind readers. It’s said for a reason. “Dominant-as-mind-reader” is one of those persistent stereotypes that’s hard to kill and can really cause problems for new and/or isolated […]

What To Do If Your Partner Gets Triggered – by Heather_Daisy

Hello! I’m Heather Daisy, and you might remember me from such films as “What To Do If Your Partner Is Horny” and “What To Do If Your Partner Is Into Breath Play.” Today we explore the wide and wonderful world of TRIGGERS. A trigger is an action, word, emotion, smell or other noun that causes […]

What Does it Look Like When a Top’s Consent is Violated? by Ariadne

A weak point in conversations about consent and consent violation is that we often speak as though only bottoms can be violated (I am not immune to this) when tops are also violated on a fairly regular basis. My theory on why we do this is we have a much clearer picture of what it […]

What BDSM is not By vegasvixen

What BDSM is not I was recently reminded how much I dislike it when people are so passionate about their own opinions that they assume their way is the only right way, and that reminded me of this essay written in 2005. I hope someone out there finds it useful or interesting, and I hope […]

The theory and practice of GINGER FIGGING

The theory and practice of GINGER FIGGING “Figging” is a name for a practice involving the use of ginger root for stimulation. It’s a practice with historical roots; allegedly, this technique was developed during Victorian times as a way to discipline wayward women. In any event, it’s great fun for people who enjoy moderate to fairly […]

Scroll to top