Below are listed some negotiation questions I use as a top to better learn about my bottoms, their character, and their interest in play. It took me the better part of a year to figure out these questions, as some of my play partners might note that early negotiations with me consisted mostly of health … Read more
Recently, I was contemplating the situation of being single in the Scene because of an email I received from someone concerning interacting with male dominants. Essentially, she responded to the sexual whims of the men she met online from the space of not having any boundaries set. Part of her inquiry to me was why does … Read more
Serve a person worth serving by Sarina_Darling original post Choose a Dominant with integrity. Seek out tops with skill, wit, and humor- but never stay with a Dominant who lacks integrity. You have the depth, warmth and intelligence to add to the life of whomever you pick, so pick someone with values that match your … Read more
Scene Negotiation for the s type So you want to play and you are so hungry, that you don’t think or care to discuss limits. If you are about to play with someone you have NOT SEEN do a scene with anyone before, chances are you are putting yourself in danger. At the very least … Read more
BDSM for Beginners – Safewords Red, Yellow, Green Are Just Words and Mean NOTHING by Themselves! by Caged Heart Beginning Explorers in the BDSM World hear a lot of advice from more experienced ‘players’. Unfortunately, a lot of that advice is worth nothing more than it costs…NOTHING. A person new to BDSM might hear, “Oh, … Read more
Just so I can point people here for reference, here are some common definitions of different sexualities/romantic orientations. Sexual Orientation – based on the gender(s) that you are sexually attracted to (people who you want to have intercourse with, etc.) Romantic Orientation – based on the gender(s) that you are romantically attracted to (people who you want … Read more
By tequilarose on November 4, 2014 original post In the other article, I wrote about the differences between micromanaging and macromanaging and now I’m going to cover the differences between reactive service and proactive service. This was a little harder to do because most of what I could find online was comparing reactive service to … Read more
Practice negotiating on relationship topics. If every negotiation turns into an all-night crying jag or blamefest, then negotiation will not happen because you will be afraid of it. Practice various sharing and listening exercises until you can negotiate effectively even on emotional subjects. Bring up hard subjects. It is unfortunately common for people in relationships … Read more